**Story at the end** 🧐
When was the last time you met your edge?
You know...that place you go when you're exploring your limitations. You've been here before, but never beyond here.
It's that place where things are beginning to feel pretty foreign. Like unchartered territory. You aren't exactly sure of the next steps because though you've been "here" before, you haven't been quite... THERE ... before.
You can see it. Kind of. There's no physical or neurological programs to pull from. No seemingly "real" clarity, but you are perceiving it's possible to go there. For some reason you believe there is something else. Your curiosity is heightened. Your senses are tingling with anticipation of what it would feel like to go one step further, beyond the familiar. Beyond the normal. Beyond the status quo.
Let me tell you. The edge can be exciting. The edge can be frightening. You’ve come this far, why go further? Can’t you just be happy with what you have? Where you are and what you’ve already accomplished? The terrain you know is familiar. The territory you own is YOURS. You know the paths through the woods & across the river and down the mountains. You’ve run these trails a million times!
But this… this is something new. Something different. And if you were a child, you would have very little hesitancy. But since you are an adult, you question. You assess. You try to figure it out. You’ve been programmed to think that “knowing” is more safe than “being."
But you can’t figure it out. There’s nothing to figure out. There’s nothing to perceive because you have NO FRAME OF REFERENCE to perceive from. You haven’t been here before.
It’s The Edge.
Let me tell you about a more recent time I met my edge...
It was April 20, 2017.
It had been one month since the beginning of a major, major shift in my life. I had been on cloud 9, energetically, for over a month, with no end in sight. Ashton had quit her 9-5 and was diving head first into building Transcend Wellness. We were rocking and rolling.
April 20 was a Thursday. I had a busy day selling real estate & leading a team meeting. (Now I know it only FELT busy… truth be told: I only had 2 meetings that day.)
I had just finished a listing consultation and had told Ashton I was going to stop by an after hours networking event to say hello to a few people, have a drink and then head home.
Say hello. Have a drink. Head home.
This was what I told her I was going to do. It’s what I wanted to do. It was my desire to have a moment of connection with my friends and then get home to my beautiful wife who I hadn’t seen all day.
But you know what? I had never done that. I had never just "stopped in” to say hello. Have a drink. And then head home. That was BEYOND my edge. Terrain I had never walked before.
No, my M.O. was to either not go at all or to stop in… get comfortable. Have a few drinks. Let loose. Relax into the moment. And “enjoy" myself.
This path I had walked countless times before. I used drinking as a chance to lose track of time and get lost. To ease myself of the seeming pressure and demands of the day by kicking back a few. To reward myself for a hard days’ work!
So when I arrived that evening, I met my edge. I could vaguely see a reality I wanted to participate in where I enjoyed myself with my friends and then got home to a wonderful evening with my wife.
I met the edge, but I didn't go beyond it. How do I know? Because the rest of the evening went exactly. according. to. program.
What program? The program I had installed and played many times before! I stayed at the bar for 2 hours longer than planned. I had 3 or 4 more drinks than planned. My wife would call, I wouldn't answer. She would call again, I’d tell her I’d be home in 30 minutes. I wouldn’t show, so she’d call me to check on me. That’s when my program was to pick a fight with her. I would tell her she never let me have a good time. That she was always on my back. That she didn’t understand how hard I worked during the day, and I just needed some fun. I’d lie to her and point out all the things I thought she was doing or saying wrong.
Not to mention, I rarely wanted to stop the drinking. That night, I know I wanted to go out for more drinks.
Of course, this program was all about DIVERTING the truth and taking the attention off of myself. Once again, trying to escape.
I vaguely remember myself driving and arriving to see my wife. Looking back now, I know the look was one of disappointment, hurt and concern. In that moment, all my walls were up, so I thought she was judging me. The rest of the evening was full of arguing and me raising my voice thinking the louder I spoke the easier my point would be received.
I am so glad that I met that edge again. I had met it many times before. Each time I would come to it, I would gain more clarity, more insight and more passion to get to the other side!
So since then, I have ventured Beyond, into the Unknown, and here is what I found...
I found it’s okay to feel pain.
I found when I feel the need to raise my voice so others understand, I really need to stop and listen to myself.
I found it’s good to lean into the pain of discomfort.
I found my projections onto others are really my own judgments on myself.
I found I can have a good time by breathing.
I found I can let loose at any time, for any reason!
I found happiness within myself.
I found lying is a protection mechanism I create to hold myself back and that truth and trust in the Unknown is my saving grace.
I found that no moment in life is worth escaping — however I show up to it is perfectly okay.
Are you ready to meet your edge again? This time might be the time you go beyond.