the long way home

Sometimes it’s good to remember that the shortest distance isn’t always the best.

In our world of life “hacking” and “speed” and “more” — the shortest distance from A to B often appears to be the best if only in order to get “further” during the time we have.

But exactly where are we getting “further” to? (will we even know how to appreciate it when we get there?)
Exactly what are we thinking these kinds of hacks are going to give us when we’re on our death bed? (what will count on your death bed? it should count now.)
How are we even guaranteed our death bed is any specific period of time out? (we’re not.)

The life hacks are just that — hacks. You skip from here to there, but you miss out on the journey itself.
When you “quantum leap” you miss out on some of the delights along the way.
And speed? Well, you don’t even give yourself long enough to be with the beauties that are ache and pain and rejoicing and love and desire.

There’s a time to take the jump. To fly and fly fast. To move to where you know there is to go. When you know that’s what there is to do, do it. But, I can bet that you don’t actually desire to spend your entire life this way.

I bet for most of us, we’re totally okay taking the long way home.


When was the last time you felt heavy? You know, that weighty, somewhat irritating, squeezing in, tightening, constricting feeling that “time” seems to be the only thing that offers relief from?

Maybe you felt heavy in your physical body after eating. This can come from eating too much, drinking too much or even consuming particular ingredients that don’t agree with your body. Your morning coffee creamer may be delicious, but if it leaves you feeling heavy.

Maybe you felt heavy in your heart. News of someone you know hurting, looking at your online bank account, opening up the mail or even wanting to express and share a particular communication but you just feel like you can’t. It’s heavy.

Maybe you felt heavy when walking into the “spare bedroom” where all the junk seems to accumulate. There it is. All the stuff that you said you wanted or needed at one time, not going to the use you thought it would. And it just feels heavy — like too much.

Sometimes the weight we carry around is material — the actual weight on our bodies, in our homes; sometimes it’s immaterial — the feeling of heaviness, pressing down on our shoulders, our minds, our hearts.

What I know is that heaviness is not a required state. At least not for an indefinite period of time. The only way we even know “heavy” is because we know “light.”

So, when you notice the heaviness, make note this experience is only being had because you know a state that is lighter than this.

And choose to practice letting the heaviness go. It is not required. And trust me: your most enjoyable, healthy, best life is not a heavy one.

To lightness,

The Wish for Guilt

It’s a very real thing in our world that we have masses and masses of people who actually want someone to be guilty. They want someone to be wrong. They simply are committed to someone, somewhere — or something, somewhere — not working.

And by not working, there is a divisiveness in place. A separation between what works and what doesn’t. The possibility — the probability — the inevitability! — that for someone to be right, there must be someone wrong.

Can we look just for a moment at the absolute ludicrousness of this statement?

How is that that for someone to be right, for something to be right — that someone or something must be wrong?

We carry around a wish for guilt. It is engrained into the program of our world. This world is simply not our home, and yet the way we treat it is as if it is. This simple denial of reality is the foundational reason our entire experience is upside down. We perpetuate it with the children we raise. We perpetuate it in the conversations we have. We perpetuate it with ourselves — blaming ourselves, ridiculing ourselves, shaming ourselves, judging ourselves, rearing ourselves inadequate, inept and insufficient.

Something is missing.
Something is broken.
Something needs fixed.

It is as if we wouldn’t know what to do with ourselves if all was well, perfect and already complete.

If we weren’t spending our time, energy and attention on trying to “fix” things all of the time, we may actually have to face our real Self and… Create! Be! Love!

It’s easier to say we want a better world while simultaneously holding out our wish for guilt than to actually have to BE who we really are — perfectly perfect embodied conscious, divine, all-consuming energy.

The wish for guilt gives us reasons to stay small. It gives us reasons to try to play it safe. It gives us reasons to tinker with this thing and mess with that thing instead of taking on the expression of perfection — where all is well, always. Where nothing is missing, and nothing is broken and here, in this moment, the wish is for peace.

Will we let our wish be for peace?

Once it is our wish, it is ours to have. Thought it will take what it takes to experience it…Letting go of everything that’s keeping us from it.

Let’s start with choosing to let go of the wish for guilt.
Let’s start with choosing to let go of the need for someone to be wrong.
Let’s start with choosing to let go of the attachment to there always be a "problem.”

What if the only thing between here and there, what we have and what we want, is our perception that this gap is actually real?

It can’t hurt to try.

We Lose Our Wonder -- Squelched By Fear


That’s a lot of days.

For being someone who claims to love sunrises as much as I do, I haven't seen terribly many.

Positioning myself just so in order to catch a glimpse of that big gaseous ball of energy that has not failed me once, making its appearance at the break of day?

No, instead, I’ve spent many days feigning how I need more sleep or grabbing coffee and “getting to work.” Or simply not thinking about it at all — my vision impaired by something much more "pressing."

Going out of my way to see a sunrise never came across to me as a very efficient thing to do. Lovely, sure, but, a little too much effort then the reward would seem to give, most days.

And plus, someone’s got to get to work.

So, I would settle for the random occurrences. Usually while driving to an early morning appointment...

There the sun would be, lifting up its head, making its presence known through the warm, hearty glow that overtook the landscape, before its rays actually even hit; the perfectly sparse clouds permeated in deep pink and blue; the sky itself changing shade from dark to day.

And as I'd look up to examine horizon to horizon, it was clearly still night in the west and becoming day in the east.

And this was morning. A moment that shouted a little more subtly than others: Look at me.

What? I’m pretty sure this thing that has made its appearance, without fail, every single day of my life (and for nearly 4.5 billion years….4.5 billion years. Must I repeat it? 4.5 billion. years.)… has got its job down and is doing just fine. It has lost nothing.

But me?

Now, I might lose MY wonder. Captivated by other things that “need” done led by fears that seem real.

We lose our wonder — squelched by fear.

So instead, we accept that most of life is meant to be pretty, well, normal. Lack luster. That fear and its dictates are the way life on earth is supposed to go.

And that these special moments … they are special because they give us a glimpse of something more meaningful, more beautiful, more surreal such that, maybe, “one day,” we’ll get to live this way indefinitely.

It does not matter who you are, where you came from or what you believe: If you are a human, you live in a world setup to squelch your wonder. To package things neat and clean and say here: This is what is true. Nothing else to see here!

Be wary of the thought someone or something else is "out there” trying to “get you" or “take your wonder.”

No, my friends, there is nothing trying to attack you as much as it is trying to distract you. This is simply apart of the human condition we face.

Part of being human in the world is the pull of the world to lesser purposes than we know we were created for (and we do know.)

The pull of the world is to less wondrous ways of being.

It takes something to be someone committed to a life of wonder instead of fear.
It takes something to be someone committed to a life of creation instead of consumption.
It takes something to be someone committed to a life of transcending the ways of the world, the pull of the world to be “normal,” to be “average” and to focus on survival of the body instead of expansion of the essence.

It takes something.

What does it take? Well, it takes everything that’s not that. (Read: Fear.)

This isn’t about paying your way to a wondrous life. It’s about letting go of everything that keeps you from it.

Your natural state is wonder!
Your natural essence is expansion.
Your natural essence is creation.
Your natural essence is eternal, abundant, life.

This is who you are. It’s who you’ve always been.

And everything, everywhere, always, will do its best to keep you from this. Even the seemingly more noble things in life like “caring” for others or “earning” a living. If we show up to life at the cost of our wonder, can it even be said we are really living?

If we don’t wonder now, when will we?
If we don’t create now, when will we?
If we don’t transcend now, when will we?

All of us experience the pull to live lives as mere humans...most often promised that after we die, something will change. We will become who we were always meant to be!

How interesting that we have come to believe physical death is the way to eternal life.

I will let you in on the secret: It is not death that is the way to life. Only life gives way to life.

This is it. Please do not wait for heaven. Heaven is waiting on you.

The invitation of heaven is to a more wondrous way of living, a life full of more awe and astonishment, a life where the world and its lesser ways fade and fade as we are enthralled with all that is captivating and real.

When we slow down enough, we know… the invitation is not coming from without, but from within. Always beckoning. Sometimes whispering through a flower. Sometimes shouting through tragic news.

Whatever it takes...

May we hear the shouts. May we hear the whispers. But may we hear. The call to wonder, the call to heaven, the call to life now, while living. May we not delay another day.

For tomorrow, we really do die.

Must We Continue to Be So Cliche? The Time is NOW.

I’m not exactly sure what it’s going to take to turn this ship around. But I know my part requires me to keep saying the same thing over and over in different ways, turning it this way and that way, every day, all day, for the rest of my life. At the risk of sounding cliche.

Here it is for this moment…

You will DIE.
But you are not dead yet.
The time is NOW.

What are you waiting for? What are you holding out on? What are you saying you’ll do this weekend, next week, next month, next year? What are you saying you’ll do after the kids are grown, after you retire, when you pay off the house? What are you saying you need to have happen before you can make a bet on yourself? What are you saying needs to line up, or get together, before you can go for it?

Look, I KNOW you have convinced yourself of two things.

  1. Your life is pretty good! You actually enjoy it. You love the people in your life; you love what you do most of the time; you’re decently proud of yourself for all the ways you’ve survived, made it and got “here.” Look at all you’ve overcome! Look at all you’ve been through!

  2. Your life will be better one day! You regularly look at what’s possible. You have vision, dreams, desires. And they spark a little something in you from time to time that you’re convinced is going to be what inevitably draws those things into your life.

There’s the money situation that you talk about year after year after year. I’ll pay that debt off by 2019; I’ll have started that business by 2015; I’ll purchase that first investment I want as soon as I make $_____ in sales.

There’s the health situation that you keep coming back to again and again. You make progress and feel so good only to have LIFE happen (vacations, holidays, emotional upsets) and get off track. But you get the story going: I’ll start that back up next month! I’ll look into the fitness program tomorrow. This will be so much easier when my spouse is on board…

There’s the time situation that you want more freedom around. I’ll wake up earlier when I can finally go to bed earlier when my kids finally listen to me and go to sleep on time. I’ll really start to enjoy my weekends when I don’t have to spend them cleaning the house and running around showing my face at this and that event. I’ll be able to do whatever I want when I can finally get the money situation together, so I don’t feel tied to someone else’s dime, on my time.

You get it.

Like I said, you’ve convinced yourself of two things: Everything is good now. And life will be better one day.

Guess what?

Life will not be better one day. Because life is NOW. And this is it. Will you choose to live? Will you choose to show up? Will you choose to go for it? Will you choose to embody your body and play the magnificent role of human while you’ve got the chance? Will you say what there is to say, do what there is to do and be who there is to be NOW? Will you dig a little deeper, surrender a little more and be willing to be seen? To take a risk? To take a chance and face your fears?

What’s worse, really? The fear of failure, disappointment and looking weak? Or actually having not lived fully while you’re alive?

Will you decide now? Or will you wait till next week?

Shifting Out of the Old Game Into the New One

I know you're afraid to commit. I know you don't want to fail again, fall again, disappoint again.

I know fear stands there, looming, telling you it's not safe to try again. That it's best to get yourself together first.
I know judgment stands there, shouting, telling you it's never enough. That you're never enough.

You don't want to be weak.
In fact, you know you aren't. You know you've got stamina so few around you do. You're in it. You show up. Again and again.

But by God it feels like you just can't sometimes. It feels like you're so tired. Tired of trying. Tired of walking out onto the same battlefield. Tired of picking up the same weapons to wage war with.

Tired of trying to create change. 😩

Isn't this supposed to shift at some point? Isn't all this work I'm putting in supposed to actually shift something? When do I get to relax?

Maybe it's just best to give in.

But inevitably, you have a moment! 🤩

Because you actually know who you are. You can see it, sense it, feel it. You get glimpses from time to time, and it feels so right. It feels so right, so real, you take action. You commit! You get back out there and start again.

"I'm making a change. Things are going to be different this time. Let's do it!"

And then -- BAM. Knocked out. Again! Tired. Exhausted. "Take me out of the game, coach, I need a break."

And in comes the judgment proving its nasty comments to you again.

↳ See, I told you you couldn't do it. 
↳ I told you you'd fail again.
↳ I told you that it wouldn't be worth it.

And on and on the cycle goes. And every time you're out of the game, it gets reinforced a little bit more: See. This is who you are. Stay small. Stay safe. Stay realistic.

My dear...
You are playing the wrong game. That game is designed for winners and losers. And you are SO FREAKING ABOVE THAT.

That game is designed to kill, and it reminds you of that every time you just want to relax but feel like relaxing will cause someone or something to come beat you down and end it all.

That game is designed for "game over" at some point, and all its plays are leading toward that end.

There is a new game for you. ✨

It has different rules entirely. You haven't played it before, so it's going to take some getting used to. In fact, there's going to be times it feels pretty painful. Leaving everything you've known behind. All the things it seems you worked for, earned or won.

But if you look closely: You know none of that's for you, anyway. When you see that glimpse of the real you from time to time, you know all of that pales in comparison.

Thew new game is going to take some practice. But first, we've got to shift out of the old one. I promise you it will be worth it. 
🔸 The new game has no winners or losers. Only players.
🔸The new game is designed for life, and every turn gives you the opportunity to have fun experiencing more of it.
🔸The new game is eternal, and there's nothing (nothing) you could do to mess it up.

Commitment is still required. But it is not the kind you think.

This commitment is simply the choice to play. 🚀

What Not To Leave Behind When Intentionally Creating Your Life

When you’re on the journey of creating your life, there are choices to make.

You will inevitably have to leave things behind that do not work for you anymore. This clears up space for what is to come. And often, you will leave things behind not yet knowing what will take their place.

When you’ve been on the journey for a bit and exercised this muscle through doing it a few times, you start trusting the process. Let go of what doesn’t work… Let in what does.

But stay vigilant. You can trust the process. You can trust your Self. But the nature of your smaller self would try to have you believe that some things don’t work anymore, when they actually very much do.

This is the work of self-inquiry. Of playing the active role as the observer in your life, instead of identifying as one with the minutia. Every day, you deserve to have an honest conversation with yourself about what it you’re up to. Every day, you owe it to yourself to pay attention, to watch how you are being, or not being. What alignment, or lack of, you are experiencing.

Every day, there is to set your intentions on integrity with Self and be open to whatever that future, higher version of you says to do.

By all means, leave behind what doesn’t work.
But don’t leave behind what does.

You can't hide it if you wanted to.

Everything is seen. Everything is known. All the things you think you are hiding are already out here, in the energetic field of All That Is.

Reality isn’t something that can be fought or turned off.

Reality is reality.

Whatever you’re thinking or feeling there, alone, inside — the energy imprint has already been stamped into time & space. It is already a thing. You may not be able to see it or pinpoint where it is, but it’s there.

Every thought is already Known.
Every feeling is already Seen.
Every judgment, every criticism is already Existing.

You can’t hide that shit.

So stop trying.

Say what there is to say. Do what there is to do. If you want to hide it so bad, why don’t you bring it out and be with it, so you can take back your power?

You think you’re being powerful by hiding it.
But it’s got its hands all over you. Controlling every move.

Don’t say this. Don’t do that. You might end up…

It’s incredible what a little transparency can do for your POWER. Be willing to look at what is instead of stuffing it away in the closet. The kinds of things you want to hide are the exact things that want to stay hidden! Don’t let that thing win.

You’re in charge here. 😘

Get Ahead by Getting Ahead

It’s Sunday night as I write this, and as has been the case for many Sunday nights of my life, I have a general sense of excitement about the week ahead.

But I know for many that feeling could just as well be overwhelm. An inbox full of emails to address. A client who needs called first thing in the AM. A sick child. A grumpy spouse. A dirty house….

It’s the basics we overlook. It’s the basics we take for granted. It’s the basics we think we don’t need because surely the solution to all our problems and issues is something really complex and difficult.

But it’s the basics we need.

Set time aside to plan. You will always feel behind, stressed and hectic if you are not ahead of what’s happening. And the only way you get ahead is by getting ahead. That doesn’t [necessarily] mean getting ahead in your workload.

It’s about getting ahead in your mind. Getting your mental state, your perspective, ahead of the game, so nothing takes you by surprise or knocks you off track.

What do you need to be with, to vision, to plan, to see, before the week actually begins to unfold, so that you are ahead, directing, leading and orchestrating the whole damn thing?

Why wait?

Most people love to claim they love their lives.

Until they don’t.

They love to flaunt their peace and happiness and romance and stability until things start to fall apart. When they lose a job or a kid gets addicted to drugs or they lose a big client or their stock gets wiped out.

It can be any number of things that show up that then cause people to re-examine their life. Their decisions. Their state of being.

But why wait?

Why wait until things get foggy, messy, miserable?
Why wait until things feel out of control or like it’s time for panic-mode?
Why wait until you feel the stress, the pressure, the anxiety, the darkness?

What if you built a life where things never actually felt foggy, messy or miserable?
What if you built a life where things never felt out of control or like you panic was the only option?
What if you built a life where stress, pressure (the debilitating kind), anxiety and darkness weren’t your go-to states?

Examine your life now.
Be proactive now.
Make decisions now.

Yes, you’ll fail. Yes, you’ll re-consider. Yes, you’ll feel like you go “back to the drawing board.” But who you become as someone who exercises your power of choice, your ability to decide, to execute on your vision will make all of the difference.

Don’t wait to build up the strength of your will when it’s needed most! Do it now, so when what seems more challenging shows up, you handle it like a breeze.

Meeting Your Edge: Into the Unknown

**Story at the end** 🧐

When was the last time you met your edge?

You know...that place you go when you're exploring your limitations. You've been here before, but never beyond here.

It's that place where things are beginning to feel pretty foreign. Like unchartered territory. You aren't exactly sure of the next steps because though you've been "here" before, you haven't been quite... THERE ... before.

You can see it. Kind of. There's no physical or neurological programs to pull from. No seemingly "real" clarity, but you are perceiving it's possible to go there. For some reason you believe there is something else. Your curiosity is heightened. Your senses are tingling with anticipation of what it would feel like to go one step further, beyond the familiar. Beyond the normal. Beyond the status quo.

Let me tell you. The edge can be exciting. The edge can be frightening. You’ve come this far, why go further? Can’t you just be happy with what you have? Where you are and what you’ve already accomplished? The terrain you know is familiar. The territory you own is YOURS. You know the paths through the woods & across the river and down the mountains. You’ve run these trails a million times!

But this… this is something new. Something different. And if you were a child, you would have very little hesitancy. But since you are an adult, you question. You assess. You try to figure it out. You’ve been programmed to think that “knowing” is more safe than “being."

But you can’t figure it out. There’s nothing to figure out. There’s nothing to perceive because you have NO FRAME OF REFERENCE to perceive from. You haven’t been here before.

It’s The Edge.

Let me tell you about a more recent time I met my edge...


It was April 20, 2017.

It had been one month since the beginning of a major, major shift in my life. I had been on cloud 9, energetically, for over a month, with no end in sight. Ashton had quit her 9-5 and was diving head first into building Transcend Wellness. We were rocking and rolling.

April 20 was a Thursday. I had a busy day selling real estate & leading a team meeting. (Now I know it only FELT busy… truth be told: I only had 2 meetings that day.)

I had just finished a listing consultation and had told Ashton I was going to stop by an after hours networking event to say hello to a few people, have a drink and then head home.

Say hello. Have a drink. Head home.

This was what I told her I was going to do. It’s what I wanted to do. It was my desire to have a moment of connection with my friends and then get home to my beautiful wife who I hadn’t seen all day.

But you know what? I had never done that. I had never just "stopped in” to say hello. Have a drink. And then head home. That was BEYOND my edge. Terrain I had never walked before.

No, my M.O. was to either not go at all or to stop in… get comfortable. Have a few drinks. Let loose. Relax into the moment. And “enjoy" myself.

This path I had walked countless times before. I used drinking as a chance to lose track of time and get lost. To ease myself of the seeming pressure and demands of the day by kicking back a few. To reward myself for a hard days’ work!

So when I arrived that evening, I met my edge. I could vaguely see a reality I wanted to participate in where I enjoyed myself with my friends and then got home to a wonderful evening with my wife.

I met the edge, but I didn't go beyond it. How do I know? Because the rest of the evening went exactly. according. to. program.

What program? The program I had installed and played many times before! I stayed at the bar for 2 hours longer than planned. I had 3 or 4 more drinks than planned. My wife would call, I wouldn't answer. She would call again, I’d tell her I’d be home in 30 minutes. I wouldn’t show, so she’d call me to check on me. That’s when my program was to pick a fight with her. I would tell her she never let me have a good time. That she was always on my back. That she didn’t understand how hard I worked during the day, and I just needed some fun. I’d lie to her and point out all the things I thought she was doing or saying wrong.

Not to mention, I rarely wanted to stop the drinking. That night, I know I wanted to go out for more drinks.

Of course, this program was all about DIVERTING the truth and taking the attention off of myself. Once again, trying to escape.

I vaguely remember myself driving and arriving to see my wife. Looking back now, I know the look was one of disappointment, hurt and concern. In that moment, all my walls were up, so I thought she was judging me. The rest of the evening was full of arguing and me raising my voice thinking the louder I spoke the easier my point would be received.

I am so glad that I met that edge again. I had met it many times before. Each time I would come to it, I would gain more clarity, more insight and more passion to get to the other side!

So since then, I have ventured Beyond, into the Unknown, and here is what I found...

I found it’s okay to feel pain.
I found when I feel the need to raise my voice so others understand, I really need to stop and listen to myself.
I found it’s good to lean into the pain of discomfort.
I found my projections onto others are really my own judgments on myself.
I found I can have a good time by breathing.
I found I can let loose at any time, for any reason!
I found happiness within myself.
I found lying is a protection mechanism I create to hold myself back and that truth and trust in the Unknown is my saving grace.
I found that no moment in life is worth escaping — however I show up to it is perfectly okay.

Are you ready to meet your edge again? This time might be the time you go beyond.